Here are some romantic gestures that you commonly see in romances that would creep out any sane person in real life:
- Extreme possessiveness. Typical alpha male behavior. Even the women sometimes have this too. If even another person looks at their lover in any other than a neutral manner, they'll get into arguments and physical fights. Not a turn on at all.
- Stalking your love interest and admitting to it. Some characters find this romantic. Stalker is the new sexy? I'd freak out if I knew someone was watching me as I slept!
- Doing something potentially lethal to convince someone to go on a date. If I take out that whole nest of vampires, you have to go on a dinner date with me. Or I'll throw myself off a cliff if you don't go out with me. That says a lot about the person right there. Nope, not romantic.
- Public confessions of love. You can't get your love interest alone, so you shout it out in front of his pack or school or family, sometimes at a wedding. Their wedding. Maybe there's a reason the person doesn't want to be alone with you.
- Continuing to try to assert yourself in your love interest's life after she has said she's not interested and doesn't want to see you again. Are you thinking she's confused? And if she is, let her contact you later on if she changes her mind. Respect her. Don't be creepy and show up to her work with flowers or serenade her on the street.
Are you guilty of being more forgiving with fictional characters? Have you experienced a grand romantic gesture that was really just creepy?
Great list! I definitely find all these things creepy, too. It's always refreshing when a character doesn't do any of this in a romance!
ReplyDeleteThey're things that put me off in novels. When I'm writing romance, I try to look out for all of these things, because I don't feel that we have to let these things pass just because those are the typical genre standards.
ReplyDeleteI totally excuse these things in fiction (Twilight, for example) which have creeped me out in reality (stalking). But that has more to do with fantasy. Those storylines play on the stereotypical fantasies of women (varying degrees of sub/dom). And as we all know, very few of us fantasise about things we'd actually want to happen. Perhaps that's why 50 Shades and such do so well?
ReplyDeleteGreat post Christine. :) X
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Actually, those things creep me out in fiction as well. They look really absurd now that you've described them.
ReplyDeleteI don't like those things in fiction either, especially the stalking. We should not romanticize it. It's a terrible thing that no one should ever go through.
ReplyDeleteWhen you read this list, these things seem even creepier! It's kind of disturbing how much is romanticized in fiction.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite romantic scenes from movies is John Cusack holding up the boombox in Say Anything. Can't deny it still makes my heart go pitter-pat after all these years, mostly because it's John Cusack LOL. But if someone stood outside the window like that in real life?? Really not romantic at all.
Thanks to everyone for stopping in and leaving your comments. I'm a little more forgiving of fictional characters to a certain point, but I've stopped reading books if they got too offensive. Twilight being one of the biggest offenders.
ReplyDeleteJulie, when I was researching particular instances for this post, that John Cusack scene came up a lot!
Hahaha I know exactly what you mean. Maybe it's because we often see things from the "crazy dude's" point of view, and realize that his intentions are pure.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it's just our inner crazy person coming out while we read.
Some of those behaviors don't creep me out as much in fiction as they would in real life. And if anyone wants to take out a nest of bad vamps for me, I'd be okay with that, especially if the vamps are the sparkly type. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm forgiving to a fault. Truth: I love my characters color outside the normally acceptable lines, but I also think many of these things are overdone and it's best to avoid them.
ReplyDeleteI'm forgiving to a fault. Truth: I love my characters color outside the normally acceptable lines, but I also think many of these things are overdone and it's best to avoid them.
ReplyDeleteGreat list of creepy behavior. I think the whole Twilight watching her sleep thing was freaky.
ReplyDeleteI've actually had stalkers, and I've almost been kidnapped twice, so . . . No. I don't find this stuff romantic, not even in fiction.
ReplyDeleteI don't do well with most of those things in fiction - it's one of my biggest issues with certain very popular books that have sprung up over the last couple of years!
ReplyDeleteI despise all those things, in fiction and everywhere else, particularly the alpha male trope. I would not make a good romance writer. :P
ReplyDeleteA good list! And yup, you're so right about us being forgiving of that in fiction(and movies!). But in real life- none of that is so great!
ReplyDeleteYup, way more forgiving with fictional characters. Great list.
ReplyDeleteIt is such a fine line between making these actions nice compared to creepy...great list.
ReplyDeleteYep, those are all creepy. I guess in fiction stuff like that can kinda work.
ReplyDeleteYeah, these things can definitely be overdone.
ReplyDeleteI was considering a MS on stalking... ah yes, such a crazy world of stalking.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, my husband once called me his stalker (mostly because he's forgetful and I've got a good memory, so he'd tell me something then wonder how the heck I knew that about him).
ReplyDeleteThat's how the song I wanna marry my stalker by Goldfinger became one of my favorite songs.