Wednesday, December 23, 2015

My gift to you - Team Santa

By Christine Rains

"Team CA-23 is a go!”

The fat man wiggled and slithered down the chimney as if boneless. He popped out of the fireplace with a merry laugh. A puff of soot surrounded him and transformed to sparkling dust as it drifted to the floor.

Bobbo the cat started out of his nap and hissed. His gray fur stood on end and his claws dug into the couch cushion. He raced behind the sofa in a flurry of hairballs.

From the sleigh on the roof, an elf in a green cap flipped a switch for the camera. “CA-23 entry successful.”

The radio response was crisp as the new fallen snow. “Roger that, CA-23. How's he looking, Evert?”

Doing good. No chimney damage. He's placing the presents under the tree right now.” Evert leaned back, breathing in the cold night air. The images on the screen bobbed as Santa bent and set the many gifts out for the large family of six. “I think we got this one right.”

"Let's hope. Finn's still trying to repair the roof from CA-22's mishap.”

The mishap was letting Finn pilot anything.” Evert snorted. “But since his father has more stripes on his cane than the rest of us, he gets to do what he wants.”

Santa nabbed a sugar cookie from a plate and stuffed it in his mouth. He hummed and chewed as he started on the stockings. His beard caught the crumbs and sifted them out to appear on the empty plate.

"At least he made Finn do the repairs himself. Maybe he won't ask for his own team next year.” 

Evert chuckled. “Yeah, let him stick with cleaning up after the reindeer.”

As if he'd heard the joke, Santa's belly jiggled as he giggled and packed the treats into the last stocking. He then continued to stick stuffers into a nearby vase and potpourii dish.

"Crap.” Evert straightened and pressed a few buttons on the dashboard. With no response from Santa, he tried another set. “Hugo, we have a stuffing problem.”

Santa moved on to the chair, ripping open a pillow and filling it with gifts. 

"Dammit.” Hugo let loose a colorful string of curses. “What's he doing?”

"Just stuffed some pillows. Moving on to a potted plant.” Evert's fingers danced over the controls. 

Dirt and leaves splatted against the wallpaper.

"Have you tried telling him his job is complete? Or the adult out-of-sight escape command?”

"Both. He's not responding to either. It keeps saying his work is in progress.” Evert growled and hit a fist on the screen. “Come on, Santa. You're done!”

Santa bent and reached down to pick up something.

"The cat! He's going to stuff the cat!” Evert sent the commands again as Hugo frantically yelled over the radio.

Bobbo screeched and kicked, but the gloved hand had a firm hold of him. The other hand raised up, full of peppermints and chocolates wrapped in shiny red paper.

Evert slapped his hand on a large red button. The gleam in Santa's eyes blinked out, and he fell backward on the coffee table. The cat tore free and raced out of the room.

"Situation averted.” Evert groaned and rested his head against the screen. “CA-23 has been shut down.”

"Roger that.” Hugo sighed. “Clean up. A replacement is already on his way.”

A cold wind kicked up the snow and sent it spiraling upwards. The reindeer stomped impatiently. Evert could sympathize. When Santa had been alive, it had never been like this. Deliveries were made quickly and efficiently. No good child was ever forgotten.

"What make? Please tell me it's one of the Mistletoe line. At least the only bug they've exhibited is kissing too many surprised mothers.”

"Nope, the closet available is one of the Snowman clones.” Hugo replied, the apology clear in his tone.

"Great.” Evert grumbled and slid out of his comfortable seat. “He better finish our route before he melts. Team CA-23 leaving the sleigh for clean-up.”



  1. Hi Christine - very clever ... I bet lots of kids will enjoy this one - as too us adults ... wonderful mix of yester year, today and fast forward ... I haven't got a chimney ... I think that might be helpful! Happy Christmas to you and the family - Hilary

  2. Ooh, this is great. Such a fun story for the holidays! (Poor Bobbo...heh.)


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