Dust It Off Bloghop - Day 3

Welcome to the third day of the Dust It Off Bloghop hosted by two talented women, Cortney Pearson and Theresa Paolo. This bloghop encourages you to take a shelved manuscript, dust it off, and rediscover some of the treasures forgotten inside. Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?



There are three parts to this bloghop:
Day 1 (May 3rd) - Post a 1-2 sentence pitch.
Day 2 (May 5th) - Post a 300-350 word excerpt.
Day 3 (today) - Post what you learned from this manuscript.


I picked my sci-fi dystopian romance called Toe-suckers. The title is horrible, but it's not what you--  Okay. It's totally what you think. The aliens have reproductive organs that resemble human toes and feet. "Toe-sucker" is a great insult when used by people who hate the aliens.

What I learned from this manuscript:
1) I learned I liked to write science-fiction. It was my first novel with aliens, and though the aliens aren't the primary characters, it was a lot of fun to create a race of beings.
2) I used adverbs too much. I know what a mistake that is now, but I was too in love with using the "-ly" words.
3) I slipped out of my protagonist's POV too often. It made for some confusing parts. I was also writing from Zegg's POV, and I rarely write novels from the male POV. Zegg was a gutter rat and a thief. He wasn't an alpha male. I think I did an okay job with him, but I learned I best stick with a female protagonist.
4) I wrote too many long paragraphs of description. I use to write thick descriptions like you'd see in big fantasy books. The scenes that worked best in Toe-suckers were the faster paced ones, the ones with less description. I've really cut down on my descriptions over the years. I know better how to show rather than tell. I also have more faith in the intelligence and imagination of my readers. They don't need every little thing described.
5) This manuscript taught me how much I love being a pantser. I have no idea where I was going with this story. I only had an idea of toe-sucking aliens. It led to an unusual, quirky, and dark story with which I had tons of fun.

Dust It Off Bloghop - Day 2

Welcome to the second day of the Dust It Off Bloghop hosted by two amazing women, Cortney Pearson and Theresa Paolo. This bloghop encourages you to take a shelved manuscript, dust it off, and rediscover some of the treasures forgotten inside. Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?

There are three parts to this bloghop:
Day 1 (May 3rd) - Post a 1-2 sentence pitch.
Day 2 (today) - Post a 300-350 word excerpt.
Day 3 (May 7th) - Post what you learned from this manuscript.

I decided to go with my sci-fi dystopian romance called Toe-suckers. The title is horrible, but I repeat, it's not what you think!

Here's my excerpt:

“You're a pet.” He spat the word out like a bug that had accidentally flew into his mouth. “You have no hair. Most everywhere would be too cold for you.”

She ran a hand across her bare head and glanced upwards at his thick locks. There was no envy in the gaze, but once again, just curiosity. “Perhaps you are right. I don't think I would enjoy the cold all that much either. I don’t even like cold baths no matter how hot the day. Yet I would still like to see snow. You could, though.”

He couldn’t understand why she was rattling on to him. Finally released from the spell that his prize had cast on him, he gave his head a little shake. It was stupid to be standing around talking to a pet. Without another word, he turned to make an escape.

“What’s your name?” She called after him with a whisper. “My name is Molli.”

A name given by those disgusting toe-suckers! No self-respecting human would ever have such a silly name. Zegg picked up his speed and headed out of the room just as Rake was leaning in to take a look. He was holding his hooked nose as not to have to breathe in the stench and scowling in Molli’s direction.

Zegg zoomed past him and ducked out through the window. His friend hurried to catch up with him. “What did you think you were doing in there? Talking to a pet? You must have sucked some toes or something!”

“I did not!” Zegg snapped back, eager to get away from the still quiet house. “She talked to me. I didn’t talk to her.”

“Don’t tell me you’re becoming one of those fuzzy hearted slops who feel sorry for those bloody pets.” Rake growled, yanking at his own unevenly cut hair in frustration.

“I don’t feel sorry for them.” Zegg hugged his newly acquired artifact to him.

Dust It Off Bloghop - Day 1

Welcome to the first day of the Dust It Off Bloghop hosted by two wonderful women, Cortney Pearson and Theresa Paolo. This bloghop encourages you to take a shelved manuscript, dust it off, and rediscover some of the treasures forgotten inside. Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?

There are three parts to this bloghop:
Day 1 (today) - Post a 1-2 sentence pitch.
Day 2 (May 5th) - Post a 300-350 word excerpt.
Day 3 (May 7th) - Post what you learned from this manuscript.

To make this bloghop even sweeter, there are prizes for each day. Yay!

I have quite a few shelved manuscripts. Ten of them, actually. Hey, I consider them practice! I'm going to go with my 2005 NaNoWriMo winning novel, Toe-suckers. Yes, the title is horrible, and it's not what you're thinking at all. It's a sci-fi dystopian romance. It might have potential if it weren't so... weird? It's not main stream, and it would take all the charm away from it if I tried to make it so. Yet I adore my odd little child.

Here's my pitch:
Earth has been bought by economically savvy aliens, and humans are forced to either work themselves to death or become designer pets. Zegg steals human artifacts from right under the aliens' toes, but his world collapses when one of their pets steals his heart.