Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Once Upon a Nightmare tour - 7 Tips on Surviving a Horror Story



7 Tips on Surviving a Horror Story
by Cherie Reich

1. Never split up.
The first one to split from the group is almost always the first to die.

2. Phones are bad.
They never work when you want them to, and when they do work, it’s usually a way for the killer to get you right where he wants you.

3. Never look back.
Run, run, run and never, ever look back. You’re more likely to trip and die, if you do look back.

4. Off with its head!
There aren’t too many monsters out there, except hydras, that can live or grow stronger without their heads. So chop away!

5. Don’t live in small towns, forests, or near cornfields.
They’re crawling with monsters and aliens.

6. Don’t laugh at guys with chainsaws.
This one is from personal experience. No one likes to be laughed at, and it’s more dangerous to do so when the person has a chainsaw.

7. Romance will get you killed.
Whether it’s a one night stand or a romantic tryst with your beau, it’s better to be single in a horror story. Romance (or sex) clouds your judgment and makes you great monster bait.

What’s your favorite tip on surviving a horror story?


A monster hunts us. After hibernating for a decade, it’s ravenous. We long to stop this nightmare, but the end of the road is far. There is no waking up once a legend sets its sights on you.

Disappearances every ten or so years make little impact on the small town of New Haven, Virginia. Hikers get lost. Hunters lose the trail. Even when a body is discovered, the inhabitants’ memories last about as long as the newspaper articles.

No one connects the cases. No one notices the disappearances go back beyond Civil War times. No one believes a legendary monster roams the forests in Southwestern Virginia.

I don’t either until the truck breaks down on an old mountain trail. Cell phones won’t work in this neck of the woods. It’s amazing how much a person can see by starlight alone. So what if we can’t feel our fingers or toes as we hike toward the main road. How many more miles left to go?

Crrraaack!

Hear that noise?

Purchase Once upon a Nightmare: A Collection by Cherie Reich at Amazon. From June 22-28, the collection is only $0.99!

Cherie Reich is a speculative fiction author and library assistant living in Virginia. Visit her website and blog for more information.

16 comments:

  1. Great tips, Cherie! Congrats on your book.

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  2. Those are good. Always remember to double-tap!

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  3. Curious about the chainsaw incident.

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  4. Awesome tips . . .and what secrets are you hiding about chainsaws?

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  5. Thank you so much for hosting me, Christine, during my blog tour!

    Thank you, Natalie! :)

    Thanks, Alex!

    TBM and T. Drecker, as for the chainsaw incident, I was eight at the time. It was around Halloween, and a friend's parents took me, their two daughters, and a cousin to Dixie Caverns Haunted Cave. The cave had tons of spooky and scary actors in it. One was a guy with a chainsaw. Feeling bold, I taunted him, saying he wasn't scary or real. He didn't like that and ran after me with the chainsaw. I hid behind some woman I didn't know, and he walked back to his spot. It's not good to taunt such people. ;)

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  6. Given number 5 I should be dead. I lived in a cornfield, by a forest, near a small town. XD

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  7. Great tips. I'd add, don't get curious and look behind the door, in the box, under the bed... just don't.

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  8. Great tips, Cherie! I hate it when people in horror movies split up or when someone goes upstairs or downstairs where they won't be able to escape. Just run out the door, idiot! And people having sex in horror movies is my pet peeve. Why is that in every horror movie? Why are they so horny? Ugh!

    Hi, Christine! :)

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  9. Me too, Patricia! Maybe we're just lucky.

    Ah, yes, curiosity has a way of getting us into trouble, Southpaw.

    Thank you, Chrys! They say horror and romance are two sides of the same coin. Both situations require a lot of passion. And I don't know why people don't run out of the door. The wide open has to be safer in most situations.

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  10. Phones never work when you need them to. And why open the door when you hear something strange? You should run away.

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  11. That was hilarious. And don't stay in rundown hotels owned by a creepy old woman where her creepier son is the caretaker.
    Susan Says

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  12. Ha! Yes, these are great. I'd add never go down to the basement, and whenyou hear a weird sound, DON'T INVESTIGATE. Call the police and RUN. :)

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  13. Don't follow the noise to the basement and don't read a creepy looking book with creepy pictures. Don't check if he's dead. Don't hide in the closet. =)

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  14. That's so true about phones. And when I don't want them to work, they always do, Mary.

    Thank you, Susan! Yes, about the hotels! I've been in a couple sleazy ones, and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

    Basements are a bit creepy in general, Liz. I try my best to avoid ours.

    E. Arroyo, I like the one of "don't check if he's dead." I say cut off his (villain's/monster's) head and run for it. You do need to make sure, but it's better not to get too close.

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  15. Love the list, especially the one about staying single. Romance will get you killed. Ha, Ha, ha!

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