Right now I'm eating chocolate and ice cream, feeling like it isn't worth it in the end. The rejection depression is not good right when NaNoWriMo is due to start. I lost the desire for it. I ask myself why I bother when I'm never going to be good enough.
I know when Tuesday rolls around, I'll force myself to start up on NaNoWriMo even if I'm still feeling depressed. I have no doubt I'll get caught up in it and let that creative rush bring me back my love of writing. Even if it isn't NaNoWriMo, it will be another story. My compulsion to write, the ecstasy of it, always comes back.
It's just at moments like this that I feel the lowest of the low.
I aimed high. I queried the number one epublisher of romance. I'll go over my cover letter, synopsis and manuscript again. I'll query the number two press next.
I also wanted to let everyone know that my posts will be shorter and less frequent in November. Some posts might just be my NaNo word count for the day. I won't be able to read and comment on blogs as often either. Most of you know how NaNoWriMo consumes you. Please don't think I've forgotten about you. Come December, I'll be making the rounds routinely again.
Good luck to everyone doing NaNoWriMo! The buddy tool still isn't working. I hope they get it fixed soon.
Update: A big thank you to Josh Hoyt and Krista for giving me The Versatile Blogger Award. You made me smile today.