#IWSG for February 2019

The Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is the brilliant idea of Alex J. Cavanaugh. The purpose of the group is to share doubts and insecurities and to encourage one another. Please visit the other participants and share your support. A kind word goes a long way.

This month's awesome co-hosts are: Raimey Gallant, Natalie Aguirre, CV Grehan, and Michelle Wallace!

This month's optional question: Besides writing, what other creative outlets do you have?

Currently the other main outlet I have is playing Dungeons & Dragons with my friends. I've been the acting Dungeon Master (DM) for a while now running The Rise of Tiamat campaign. We're nearly at the end! I've used a lot of different things to help me in my position as the DM. I've used puppets for council meetings and perler bead dragons when the heroes were conferring with the metallic dragons. I write little notes and tie them with ribbons. Yesterday I wrote a speech one of the non-player characters would share with one of the heroes. It was 2,000 words!

This month's insecurities: Perhaps prepping all that gaming stuff might be why I haven't done much writing otherwise. But I'm having great fun with it. I figure as long as I'm writing something, it's okay. Just keep the mojo flowing. And even as I say it, I feel guilty. I can't erase that feeling completely.

I've been doing better exercising and eating. I'm almost done a new cover for The 13th Floor Complete Collection. I've been doing a lot of things other than writing my WIP. I tell myself it's okay, but part of me doesn't believe it yet. I need to do it all! I don't, really. But you know how over-ambitious muses can be...

Word Witch Wednesday - want vs. need

I still haven't gotten my writing groove back. I've been good with not sitting in front of the computer so much. I get up, move around, and do other things around the house. While my back has appreciated it, my muse is pouting.

I think she's spoiled.

So I'm trying to think of getting her what she needs in other ways.

I've been painting the interior of the house since the beginning of the summer. I finished the kitchen walls and the cupboards. I've started on the hall and did one of the walls in the living room. Scraping off old wallpaper is rough on the back, so I've just been taking it easy when it comes to that.

While I enjoy painting, it isn't totally fulfilling for my muse. She needs words.

Recently, I've taken up the mantle of Dungeon Master with my gaming group. We've started The Rise of Tiamat. This is proving to be the creative outlet I need in many ways. I've made puppets for the first council session since I had to play ten characters for it, and I've created personal quests with each of the player characters' backgrounds. I beefed up the very basic story in the book and created loot cards for randomly picking treasure when it's found. My muse is squealing with delight!

I don't do any of this sitting at the computer. That has helped a lot. But it has made my productivity with novel writing slow down greatly. This frustrates me as a writer even if my muse is happy just to lose herself in the D&D world.

Being a writer is my job. I must find the balance between my other creative outlets, my health, and doing work. I want to push myself to be the author I dream of being.

I've read a ton of articles. Every one of them repeats: set boundaries, create a schedule, turn off social media, etc. I'm sure many of you have heard the same things. None of that helps me when my body makes every day different.

I ran across one quote that struck a cord. 

I've said it before, I am my own worst boss. I push myself hard. I've gotten a little better, a little kinder. But my inner boss demands more than is reasonable. I want to be a highly productive writer, but I need to loosen the fierce grip I have on that dream. I need to take care of myself and my family, and while that includes nurturing my dream, I need to be kinder yet. That doesn't mean to give up. It just means finding other ways as I did with my creative outlets.

I'm working on it. It's no easy thing for me. Perhaps one day, what I want and what I need will merge together as one.

How do you balance what you want and what you need?