This month's awesome co-hosts are: Tamara Narayan, Pat Hatt, Patricia Lynne, Juneta Key, and Doreen McGettigan!
The July IWSG Question: What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?
I've always been writing. So I can't say there's a starting point for that. Yet I haven't always been seeking publication. That I seriously started pursuing over ten years ago.
The most valuable lesson I've learned is to not be afraid to ask for help. I had been determined it was a journey which I would do everything alone. I was stubborn about it. I thought I was doing all the right research, but it wasn't enough. How lost I would have been without all the amazing people I met along the way.
I was stubborn, hesitant, and shy. What if people thought I was an idiot? What if no one offers to help? What if people do offer to help?
Learning that it was okay to ask for help was a big hurdle for me to overcome. And now I wonder why I held back!
I have awesome critique partners and beta readers, a tough and wise local critique group, a terrific promo group that shares info and support, a wonderful blogging community, and the fabulous members of the IWSG. All these people help me so much. I would not have made it this far without them.
That's something we all learn - we can't do it by ourselves. And that's all right!
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely all right. Together we are better.
DeleteHi Christine, asking for help is a big one I still struggle with. I always worry people will think I'm an idiot or delusional; so, I end up undermining myself by acting a fool... that way, no one knows I really do care! :)
ReplyDeleteI use to do that a lot. This group helps a lot, though!
DeleteYes, asking for help is essential. Just asking for critiques is essential because we can't see everything clearly about our own work.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. Having multiple critiques gets several unique POVs too.
DeleteI struggle with the hesitant and shy part, too. I'm working on it, though. :)
ReplyDeleteOur stories are our babies. :)
Deleteit's so hard to ask for help, but we all need it.
ReplyDeleteand i love my cp and betas too - so appreciate the help with promo too! iwsg keeps me hanging onto my blog!
happy july, friend!
Tara Tyler Talks
Happy July to you too!
DeleteI agree. It's the writing community that makes writing so worthwhile. It would be impossible to do it without their help.
ReplyDeleteHere, here!
DeleteAdvice I have heard a lot lately... It takes a mastermind to achieve continued success.
ReplyDelete' Juneta @ Writer's Gambit
Or a hive mind!
DeleteExcellent advice. We should never be afraid to ask for help.
ReplyDeleteI love my betas and CPs. They help me so much—I don't know what I would do without them!
Thanks! Every writer should have awesome CPs and betas.
DeleteA lot of writers, and I'm putting myself in that group, hate to ask for help. It's a big step to do that and become comfortable doing it. Thanks for your great post today, Christine.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is still difficult to ask for help even though I know better. :)
DeleteWe always fear we'll look dumb if we ask for help but we're dumb if we don't.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteThat's so true! I struggled with this a lot as well, and still do to a degree. I've had a lot of people flake on me, and I hate asking for help, but I do anyway because I need it. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's tough when some people don't pull through, but then others will surprise you at how giving they can be. :)
DeleteAsking is hard. No way around it, but having this group makes it easier. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
It certainly does! :)
DeleteOne of the best decisions I made as a writer was to join this group.
ReplyDeleteAnd we're happy to have you a part of it. :)
DeleteThat is a great lesson. It's daunting at times because some people you might ask take it as code for 'I'm superior, you're inferior', so part of this is to select advisors well.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice.
DeleteAsking for help can be so valuable--because that help may come with blessings you never expected!
ReplyDeleteThose little surprises make it all worthwhile.
DeleteI *still* find it difficult to ask for help sometimes! But my work is so much better for having feedback from others.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way.
DeleteAsking for help is definitely a tough first step. But it helps so much!
ReplyDeleteIt really does!
DeleteThis is a lesson I'm still learning, to be honest. I still find it difficult to ask for help. But I do know how much we need other people's input in all things writing.
ReplyDeleteShah X
http://shahwharton.com
Sometimes it's tougher than others, but we do need each other's help.
DeleteWhen I started out, I had no one to ask for help, so when I finally did, I sure was scared and nervous to actually ask. But when I did ask, I found out how generous people and other writers are. That was a lovely surprise.
ReplyDeleteWriters are generally wonderful and giving folks. :)
DeleteIt is so difficult to ask for help. It's something I had to learn also.
ReplyDeleteWe all seem like a stubborn bunch!
DeleteThat's a great lesson. I think I'm still learning it.
ReplyDeleteMany of us have to relearn it again!
DeleteThat's my lesson too, but I always knew I'd need help. It just made sense to me to seek outside opinions to improve my writing.
ReplyDeleteI think with us introverts that the internet helps a lot. If I had to ask in person, yikes!
DeleteAsking for help is a great lesson to learn. I also learned it recently. It was a very positive experience.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you had a great experience. :)
DeleteHi Christine - learning to ask ... as an essential for life generally - and such a great lesson to learn. Cheers and enjoy your summer time - Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hilary! Sometimes it's harder to ask in other aspects of life too.
DeleteAsking for help doesn't come easily to me as I like to figure things out myself. But when I do ask for help, I'm always glad I did as things usually turn out much better as a result.
ReplyDeleteCheers to that!
DeleteOh so true! And it happens so easily, we get stuck in the mode of taking it all on and not asking. True in publishing, writing, well, everything.
ReplyDeleteEverything for sure!
DeleteIt really is a group effort isn't? I've been meaning to expand my own group. I have a small band of folks I rely on way too much, and I feel guilty of monopolizing their time. But making friends is so hard...
ReplyDeleteJuly IWSG
As an introvert, I totally understand.
DeleteSo true! I never would have made it this far without the support of the wonderful blogging community. I've never known so many people always ready to lend a helping hand!
ReplyDeleteWriters are awesome! :)
DeleteExcellent point! I ask for help all the time...no one's an island after all:)
ReplyDeleteThat's right!
DeleteHow could I forget those early days. I was also too shy to send out feelers. But in time, inexperienced becomes experienced. It took me almost a year before I gathered the courage to join IWSG and I'm so glad I did. I've made wonderful friends. Good Post, Christine!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cathrina!
DeleteTrying to do everything on your own is overwhelming, for sure. Glad you've managed to find so many supportive, helpful people during your own writing journey!
ReplyDeleteTotally. I hope everyone finds the great helpers they need.
DeleteI love it! That jump is one we have to make if we're ever going to go anywhere, but it takes a degree of confidence to get to that point. =)
ReplyDeleteIt does take a bit of confidence, and it will only get bigger after that. :)
DeleteWe definitely can't do all this alone. The writers we've come across all find a way to shape us and help us.
ReplyDeleteYeah! :) You're one of the key supporters for me.
DeleteAsking for help is a big hurdle for lots of people, and not just in the writing life. I used to be like you used to be. The writing community as a whole is very supportive. I was happily surprised by that.
ReplyDeleteMe too! :)
DeleteDitto what Carol Kilgore said. The act of writing in and of itself can be a solitary act. No need to trek along this writing journey all by yourself when there are so many wonderful and supportive members of the writing community to help make the journey not so lonesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so lucky to have great writer friends like you. :)
DeleteI think this has been the most common lesson learnt by everyone. That it's OK to ask for help and it makes us stronger, not weaker.
ReplyDeleteTogether we are better. :)
DeleteI've always found it difficult to ask for help due to lack of confidence...but I've since improved.
ReplyDelete