LOOK! Meme

Thank you very much to Tania Walsh for tagging me in this fun challenge. The rules of the challenge involve me searching my work in progress for the first usage of the word “look,” paste the surrounding paragraph into my blog, and tag as many people as possible. (Actually, that's a lot of tagging. I'll just tag five like Tania did!)

Here's a paragraph in my steampunk short story, WHAT LAY BELOW.

Five steps in and I was by my father's – Captain Foster's - side. I let go of my skirts to take his arm with my hands. Surely he would offer some reassuring words. He glanced at me before turning his gaze to the clear sky. With that one look, my dread deepened. It clutched at my very soul and turned it cold.

I'm tagging:
Cherie Reich
M. Pepper Langlinais
Clare Dugmore
Kyra Lennon
Ciara Knight

The Magic 8 Ball Meme

Thank you very much to two lovely ladies, Jaybird and Kathleen Doyle,
for passing on this meme.

Here's the rules:

1. Post the button and link to http://blog.jayceedelorenzo.com (following would be nice, but not required).
2. Share an excerpt from your current WIP, perhaps something you're struggling with, are stuck on, or just can't "get right."
3. Ask a question about your excerpt. It can be something easy such as "What do you think?" or something more in-depth, such as "Can you suggest a better way to word such-and-such," or "How can I make the emotions in this scene more realistic?"
4. Tag 8 people. (I'm not tagging anyone in particular since I see this meme is going around. Please take it if you'd like some help with a story or query, and let me know so I can pop over to see your post.)

This is the beginning of a steampunk short story I'm writing for a YA anthology. I rarely write for anyone other than adults. I have two questions for you:
1) Does it sound too adult? I'm trying to give it a YA feel. I don't know how well I am succeeding with it.
2) This is the beginning I have now. Yet I wonder if I should start in the middle of a fight. I'm biased a bit because I love action, and when I don't have an explosive beginning, I think maybe I'm not hooking the reader. Would this beginning make you want to read more? Or would you rather start it with a fight with a mechanical scorpion?

Here's my excerpt:

Walking on sand was the worst. Mercy's ankle had no movement, and no matter how heavy her pants, the grains got into the gears. Every now and then, her knee joint uttered a dry huff similar to the ones coming from the animal behind her.

“I see it ahead.” Edwina called from atop her mount. The giant jack hopped forward with more enthusiasm, and Mercy leapt to one side to avoid it.

Mercy tapped the stud on her right nostril and breathed in the heat. Mixed in with the faint scent of hot sand was the rich fragrance of life. Water, vegetation, people. No mirage this time. Turning off her sense of smell – it wasn't smart to waste energy out there – she ran as fast as her leg would allow her.

The jack bounded ahead of her over then down the dune with Mercy close behind and skidded to a stop before plowing into the massive mound. Edwina fell off one side, only keeping to her feet because she still had a hold of the reins.

Running past them through the skinny trees and the front of the mound, Mercy went down to her knees beside the water and scooped up a handful. Fresh and cool, it eased the dryness in her throat, and she felt she could speak now and not sound like a grandmother tortoise. Good thing, too, because when she looked up, the welcoming committee had joined them.

With their long spears and forks, welcoming was too friendly of a word for them. It was more of a we-might-kill-you-if-you-make-another-move committee. Mercy's hands didn't listen and went immediately to the guns at her hips.

Lucky 7 Meme - another round

I want to thank the wicked Mina Lobo from Some Dark Romantic for awarding me the Lucky 7 Meme. She posted a cool excerpt from her WIP and it involves vampires. Check it out!

I've done this one before, but I'm going to pick an older manuscript that's in need of a bit of sun.

Here are the rules:

1. Go to page 77 of your manuscript.

2. Go to line 7.

3. Copy down the next 7 lines as they're written. No cheating!

4. Post them on your blog.

5. Tag 7 other writers. (I'm not going to tag anyone. I'm doing this again just for fun. So if anyone else wants to, go for it!)

This is from my epic fantasy called "The Cursed Land." It's near 200,000 words. Yes, I was ambitious. It would work better as a fantasy romance and broken into three books. Maybe one day!

Here's my excerpt:

“Rodolf is not going to send the soldiers to get you! If he was going to do that, then he wouldn't have taken us with him. Not everyone is out to get you, Peri.”

Peri made a little noise of disbelief. “No, you’re not, but Rodolf is a Guard, remember? It’s his duty. I’m a marked girl."

The Lucky 7 MeMe and the Sunshine Award

I received this cool meme from Tara Tyler and Tania Walsh.

Thank you! This is really neat.

Here are the rules:

1. Go to page 77 of your current MS.
2. Go to line 7.
3. Copy down the next 7 lines - sentences or paragraphs - and post them as they're written. No cheating.
4. Tag 7 authors.

Here are my seven lines from Witch's First Rule:

“She didn't say why she wanted it, but I'm going to assume it's because she doesn't want me making the potion.” Magena hurried through the kitchen and down the hall to go up the stairs to the second floor. The vacuum was sitting by the linen closet still plugged into the wall. She smacked the handle as she stormed by and knocked it on its back. “My home has been violated. It'll never feel right again.”

Nathan kept pace with her. “I'm going to have to call Mr. Knox and tell him what happened. I'm sure he can help you cleanse the house if you feel something wrong with it. There's no use--”

(I didn't cheat, but likely the scene will be cut from the manuscript!)

Here are the next lucky seven writers:

1. WritingNut

2. M Pepper Langlinais

3. Cherie Reich

4. Aubrie Dionne

5. Lorelei

6. Sarah Ahiers

7. Julie Dao

I also received this wonderful award from Kathleen at Writing, Reading and Life.

Thank you for a bit of sunshine on a rainy day.

Here are the rules:

1. Thanks the person who gave it to you.

2. Write a blog post with the answers to the questions.

3. Nominate 10 other bloggers for the award.

Favorite color: blue

Favorite animal: wolf

Favorite number: 5

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: pink lemonade

Facebook or Twitter: Facebook.

My passions: My son, husband, reading, and, of course, writing. There's also chocolate. Most particularly chocolate chip cookies and chocolate cheesecake. Mmmm.

Getting or giving presents: giving. I love the reactions and they stay with me longer than any material thing a person can give me.

Favorite pattern: whorls

Favorite day of the week: Saturday

Favorite flower: wildflowers. I love seeing a field full of various wildflowers. I'm not a fan of flowers in the house.

I'm giving some sunshine to everyone who wants it. Have a great weekend!

Booking Through Thursday Interview

1. What’s your favorite time of day to read? I usually read at night after my son has gone to bed.

2. Do you read during breakfast? (Assuming you eat breakfast.) No. I usually eat cereal and watch the news before I have to get the menfolk up.

3. What’s your favorite breakfast food? (Noting that breakfast foods can be eaten any time of day.) I eat cereal. Fruit Loops, most of the time. My stomach can't handle anything heavier in the mornings.

4. How many hours a day would you say you read? I try to get in one, but sometimes I don't make it.

5. Do you read more or less now than you did, say, 10 years ago? I read less than I did ten years ago. It's hard when you have a toddler running about!

6. Do you consider yourself a speed reader? I'm a fast reader, but I don't think I speed over the text.

7. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Teleportation. It would make doing errands and visiting family and friends so much easier.

8. Do you carry a book with you everywhere you go? Most of the time I remember to slip one into the diaper bag.

9. What KIND of book? Depends on what I'm reading at the time. I read a lot of paranormal romance.

10. How old were you when you got your first library card? Five. I'm not including school. The tiny town library was right next to my elementary school.

11. What’s the oldest book you have in your collection? (Oldest physical copy? Longest in the collection? Oldest copyright?)  Oldest copy: Sophocles - The Theban Plays. Oldest copyright: John Stuart Mill's On Liberty. (I was a Philosophy major and I have a bunch of old texts that I bought from used book stores back in my university days.) Longest in my collection: my Stephen King books. Can't remember which one came first.

12. Do you read in bed? Yes. I love reading in bed!

13. Do you write in your books? Never.

14. If you had one piece of advice to a new reader, what would it be? Read everything. Don't stick to one genre. You'll surprise yourself at the gems you'll find.