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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

#IWSG for July 2017

The Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is the brilliant idea of Alex J. Cavanaugh. The purpose of the group is to share doubts and insecurities and to encourage one another. Please visit the other participants and share your support. A kind word goes a long way.

 This month's awesome co-hosts are: Tamara Narayan, Pat Hatt, Patricia Lynne, Juneta Key, and Doreen McGettigan!

The July IWSG Question: What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?

 I've always been writing. So I can't say there's a starting point for that. Yet I haven't always been seeking publication. That I seriously started pursuing over ten years ago.

 The most valuable lesson I've learned is to not be afraid to ask for help. I had been determined it was a journey which I would do everything alone. I was stubborn about it. I thought I was doing all the right research, but it wasn't enough. How lost I would have been without all the amazing people I met along the way.

I was stubborn, hesitant, and shy. What if people thought I was an idiot? What if no one offers to help? What if people do offer to help?

 Learning that it was okay to ask for help was a big hurdle for me to overcome. And now I wonder why I held back!

 I have awesome critique partners and beta readers, a tough and wise local critique group, a terrific promo group that shares info and support, a wonderful blogging community, and the fabulous members of the IWSG. All these people help me so much. I would not have made it this far without them.
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73 comments:

  1. Alex J. CavanaughJuly 5, 2017 at 5:43 AM

    That's something we all learn - we can't do it by ourselves. And that's all right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 5, 2017 at 12:35 PM

      It's definitely all right. Together we are better.

      Delete
  2. Rita Fitzpatrick WriterJuly 5, 2017 at 5:53 AM

    Hi Christine, asking for help is a big one I still struggle with. I always worry people will think I'm an idiot or delusional; so, I end up undermining myself by acting a fool... that way, no one knows I really do care! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 5, 2017 at 12:36 PM

      I use to do that a lot. This group helps a lot, though!

      Delete
  3. Natalie AguirreJuly 5, 2017 at 7:31 AM

    Yes, asking for help is essential. Just asking for critiques is essential because we can't see everything clearly about our own work.

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 5, 2017 at 12:36 PM

      I completely agree. Having multiple critiques gets several unique POVs too.

      Delete
  4. Madeline Mora-SummonteJuly 5, 2017 at 7:57 AM

    I struggle with the hesitant and shy part, too. I'm working on it, though. :)

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  5. Tara TylerJuly 5, 2017 at 8:11 AM

    it's so hard to ask for help, but we all need it.
    and i love my cp and betas too - so appreciate the help with promo too! iwsg keeps me hanging onto my blog!

    happy july, friend!

    Tara Tyler Talks

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chemist KenJuly 5, 2017 at 9:45 AM

    I agree. It's the writing community that makes writing so worthwhile. It would be impossible to do it without their help.

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  7. Juneta keyJuly 5, 2017 at 10:00 AM

    Advice I have heard a lot lately... It takes a mastermind to achieve continued success.
    ' Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

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  8. M.J. FifieldJuly 5, 2017 at 10:28 AM

    Excellent advice. We should never be afraid to ask for help.

    I love my betas and CPs. They help me so much—I don't know what I would do without them!

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 5, 2017 at 12:40 PM

      Thanks! Every writer should have awesome CPs and betas.

      Delete
  9. cleemckenzieJuly 5, 2017 at 10:37 AM

    A lot of writers, and I'm putting myself in that group, hate to ask for help. It's a big step to do that and become comfortable doing it. Thanks for your great post today, Christine.

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    1. Christine RainsJuly 5, 2017 at 1:53 PM

      Sometimes it is still difficult to ask for help even though I know better. :)

      Delete
  10. L. Diane WolfeJuly 5, 2017 at 11:05 AM

    We always fear we'll look dumb if we ask for help but we're dumb if we don't.

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  11. krystal janeJuly 5, 2017 at 11:29 AM

    That's so true! I struggled with this a lot as well, and still do to a degree. I've had a lot of people flake on me, and I hate asking for help, but I do anyway because I need it. :)

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 6, 2017 at 10:29 AM

      It's tough when some people don't pull through, but then others will surprise you at how giving they can be. :)

      Delete
  12. emaginetteJuly 5, 2017 at 11:37 AM

    Asking is hard. No way around it, but having this group makes it easier. :-)

    Anna from elements of emaginette

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  13. Tamara NarayanJuly 5, 2017 at 11:39 AM

    One of the best decisions I made as a writer was to join this group.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jacqui Murray--Writer-TeacherJuly 5, 2017 at 11:47 AM

    That is a great lesson. It's daunting at times because some people you might ask take it as code for 'I'm superior, you're inferior', so part of this is to select advisors well.

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  15. UnknownJuly 5, 2017 at 11:52 AM

    Asking for help can be so valuable--because that help may come with blessings you never expected!

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  16. MJuly 5, 2017 at 12:31 PM

    I *still* find it difficult to ask for help sometimes! But my work is so much better for having feedback from others.

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  17. Loni TownsendJuly 5, 2017 at 1:20 PM

    Asking for help is definitely a tough first step. But it helps so much!

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  18. Shah WhartonJuly 5, 2017 at 1:27 PM

    This is a lesson I'm still learning, to be honest. I still find it difficult to ask for help. But I do know how much we need other people's input in all things writing.

    Shah X
    http://shahwharton.com

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 6, 2017 at 10:32 AM

      Sometimes it's tougher than others, but we do need each other's help.

      Delete
  19. Chrys FeyJuly 5, 2017 at 1:40 PM

    When I started out, I had no one to ask for help, so when I finally did, I sure was scared and nervous to actually ask. But when I did ask, I found out how generous people and other writers are. That was a lovely surprise.

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 6, 2017 at 10:33 AM

      Writers are generally wonderful and giving folks. :)

      Delete
  20. Susan Gourley/KelleyJuly 5, 2017 at 2:09 PM

    It is so difficult to ask for help. It's something I had to learn also.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Tyrean MartinsonJuly 5, 2017 at 2:50 PM

    That's a great lesson. I think I'm still learning it.

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  22. AnonymousJuly 5, 2017 at 7:46 PM

    That's my lesson too, but I always knew I'd need help. It just made sense to me to seek outside opinions to improve my writing.

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 6, 2017 at 10:35 AM

      I think with us introverts that the internet helps a lot. If I had to ask in person, yikes!

      Delete
  23. Olga GodimJuly 5, 2017 at 8:49 PM

    Asking for help is a great lesson to learn. I also learned it recently. It was a very positive experience.

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  24. Hilary Melton-ButcherJuly 6, 2017 at 3:33 AM

    Hi Christine - learning to ask ... as an essential for life generally - and such a great lesson to learn. Cheers and enjoy your summer time - Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 6, 2017 at 10:35 AM

      Thanks, Hilary! Sometimes it's harder to ask in other aspects of life too.

      Delete
  25. The Cynical SailorJuly 6, 2017 at 7:40 AM

    Asking for help doesn't come easily to me as I like to figure things out myself. But when I do ask for help, I'm always glad I did as things usually turn out much better as a result.

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  26. H. R. SinclairJuly 6, 2017 at 9:04 AM

    Oh so true! And it happens so easily, we get stuck in the mode of taking it all on and not asking. True in publishing, writing, well, everything.

    ReplyDelete
  27. C.D. Gallant-KingJuly 6, 2017 at 10:08 AM

    It really is a group effort isn't? I've been meaning to expand my own group. I have a small band of folks I rely on way too much, and I feel guilty of monopolizing their time. But making friends is so hard...

    July IWSG

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  28. Julie FlandersJuly 6, 2017 at 1:02 PM

    So true! I never would have made it this far without the support of the wonderful blogging community. I've never known so many people always ready to lend a helping hand!

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  29. MarkJuly 6, 2017 at 3:13 PM

    Excellent point! I ask for help all the time...no one's an island after all:)

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  30. Cathrina ConstantineJuly 6, 2017 at 8:09 PM

    How could I forget those early days. I was also too shy to send out feelers. But in time, inexperienced becomes experienced. It took me almost a year before I gathered the courage to join IWSG and I'm so glad I did. I've made wonderful friends. Good Post, Christine!!

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  31. Heather R. HoldenJuly 7, 2017 at 2:07 AM

    Trying to do everything on your own is overwhelming, for sure. Glad you've managed to find so many supportive, helpful people during your own writing journey!

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    1. Christine RainsJuly 10, 2017 at 10:35 AM

      Totally. I hope everyone finds the great helpers they need.

      Delete
  32. Crystal CollierJuly 7, 2017 at 10:39 AM

    I love it! That jump is one we have to make if we're ever going to go anywhere, but it takes a degree of confidence to get to that point. =)

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 10, 2017 at 10:36 AM

      It does take a bit of confidence, and it will only get bigger after that. :)

      Delete
  33. Cherie ReichJuly 7, 2017 at 1:44 PM

    We definitely can't do all this alone. The writers we've come across all find a way to shape us and help us.

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 10, 2017 at 10:36 AM

      Yeah! :) You're one of the key supporters for me.

      Delete
  34. Carol KilgoreJuly 7, 2017 at 2:51 PM

    Asking for help is a big hurdle for lots of people, and not just in the writing life. I used to be like you used to be. The writing community as a whole is very supportive. I was happily surprised by that.

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  35. Angela BrownJuly 8, 2017 at 11:09 AM

    Ditto what Carol Kilgore said. The act of writing in and of itself can be a solitary act. No need to trek along this writing journey all by yourself when there are so many wonderful and supportive members of the writing community to help make the journey not so lonesome.

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    Replies
    1. Christine RainsJuly 10, 2017 at 10:37 AM

      And I'm so lucky to have great writer friends like you. :)

      Delete
  36. Nick WilfordJuly 9, 2017 at 3:16 PM

    I think this has been the most common lesson learnt by everyone. That it's OK to ask for help and it makes us stronger, not weaker.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Michelle WallaceJuly 11, 2017 at 5:28 AM

    I've always found it difficult to ask for help due to lack of confidence...but I've since improved.

    ReplyDelete

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