tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post7317331717826571697..comments2024-02-22T05:37:41.257-05:00Comments on Christine Rains - Writer: The Magic 8 Ball MemeChristine Rainshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263694662585963900noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-90919227118697838692012-07-13T22:47:48.218-04:002012-07-13T22:47:48.218-04:00Ohhh very promising... I like that stud idea on he...Ohhh very promising... I like that stud idea on her nose allowing her to pick up scents. For voice, I'd say 17-early twenties is what comes across. <br /><br />Hmm I think the beginning works, as long as the mechanical scorpion (love this idea) comes in shortly afterwards. Though I'd play up the beginning you have with a bit more tension, so we know she feels anxious about finding others, and why.<br /><br />Can't wait to read it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-71771992930969821782012-07-13T20:55:24.441-04:002012-07-13T20:55:24.441-04:00I may be 41 but I'm still pretty immature, so ...I may be 41 but I'm still pretty immature, so I didn't think the opening was too adult-ish. :-) I also enjoyed how you described the "welcoming committee." Fun teaser!<br /><a href="http://minalobo.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Some Dark Romantic</a>Mina Lobohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10173895884776280826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-23708904113481632042012-07-12T16:12:51.375-04:002012-07-12T16:12:51.375-04:00I don't think it sounds too adult. Most YA rea...I don't think it sounds too adult. Most YA readers are fairly sophisticated anyway. At least, my nieces are. I like that you started with the gears and all. That's interesting. Maybe play that up a little more.M Paxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14096697282530998519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-19572406314935885442012-07-12T15:44:08.371-04:002012-07-12T15:44:08.371-04:00Thank you all! It makes me feel a lot better about...Thank you all! It makes me feel a lot better about the beginning. :)Christine Rainshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08263694662585963900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-55493296382305513622012-07-12T12:50:19.702-04:002012-07-12T12:50:19.702-04:00Like the others said, this doesn't sound too a...Like the others said, this doesn't sound too adult. And I like this scene. It has hooked me from the first line. :)Cherie Reichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16663147386014122939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-29990929994418774862012-07-12T10:52:31.295-04:002012-07-12T10:52:31.295-04:00i don't think it's too adult. and i like w...i don't think it's too adult. and i like when a book starts with action. gets you hooked right away.Trishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16880158781070139495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-5209092585252014392012-07-12T09:45:43.050-04:002012-07-12T09:45:43.050-04:00I think it starts out just fine. Too much action r...I think it starts out just fine. Too much action right away can turn some readers off. And, like the others said, it sounds like a good start to a YA story to me=)<br />Steampunk is an awesome genre and one that I have never been able to get right. Good luck with your submission!Katie Dunnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08915462239326916701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-52674951467906146392012-07-12T07:51:15.548-04:002012-07-12T07:51:15.548-04:00I agree with the others. :)
I saw the call for sub...I agree with the others. :)<br />I saw the call for submissions for this, too! That's awesome that you're writing something for it. I don't know enough about steampunk, but I'd love to learn! Maybe I'll have to buy the anthology when it comes out. Good luck!Rachel Schieffelbeinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01629400142880123520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-90516438592773208792012-07-12T07:25:07.919-04:002012-07-12T07:25:07.919-04:00I don't think it's too adult. And no, does...I don't think it's too adult. And no, doesn't have to start immediately with action.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568117157220074400.post-70388590130480464232012-07-12T07:18:03.833-04:002012-07-12T07:18:03.833-04:00Hi Christine- To answer question #1, I don't t...Hi Christine- To answer question #1, I don't think this sounds too adult, at all.<br /><br />In response to question #2, I don't think it's necessary to always start with an action scene. I liked the first two sentances "Walking on sand was the worst." - I immediately related to that, b/c it's true! I hate walking in sand. But then sentance two hooks you with "Mercy's ankle had no movement, and no matter how heavy the pants, the grains got in the gears."- That's when the reader is clued into something else is going on here! I really liked your first paragraph, and think you should keep it!jaybirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10708353376256621965noreply@blogger.com